In the weeks building up to my impending marriage to Simon, my wonderful new husband, I started thinking about Margaret, my Mum.

I haven’t seen or laughed with her for over sixteen years (and more) as she developed the most aggressive form of early-onset Alzheimer’s in her late 50’s and sadly died aged 66.

It’s these times in your life when you really want to share your happiness with those closest to you…and she wasn’t there.

A few weeks ago I was sat in the studio playing piano and this little melody came to me… I started singing and just letting the words flow… tears cascading and my heart aching…

What was it about: the many times I hung out with my Mum when she couldn’t sit still for more than a few minutes – almost driven to keep on moving. The many torturous years not knowing if she was ok trapped inside her mind … and the many times she didn’t know who I was anymore, didn’t know that I was her daughter.

The Coat

You told me you were leaving
I asked you if you wanted your coat, or are you going to leave it behind

You didn’t give a reason, you didn’t say a word
You just kept staring at your coat

Won’t you tell me something to make me feel alright
Won’t you give me something to take the edge off the bite

Your clothes felt unfamiliar
You looked the same but everything had changed – and it wasn’t the light.

Won’t you tell me something to make me feel alright
Won’t you give me something to take the edge off the bite

‘Cos I don’t know where you go
What you need or do you know my name
I don’t want to let you go
Let you feel like you’re alone
You are my life!

I love to watch you sleeping
So beautiful
Warmed by the sunlight

Won’t you tell me something to make me feel alright
Won’t you give me something to take the edge off the bite

 

© Words and music Suzy Starlite, 2014

Available soon on Supertone Records